Milo's Journey

Chapter 25: Those Who Stay

Jose sat in the shade of the palo santo, resting against Milo as he watched Piyelito playing with Cachita in the pasture. The little dog ran circles around her, barking and yapping, trying to get her to chase him.

Cachita wasn’t having it. She would look at him and let out a mournful moo, as if to say, I’m too old for this.

Jose laughed, and the sound of it was music to Milo’s ears.

They had come out early after breakfast, sitting under the palo santos and simply resting—taking time to be present, letting silence and nature take precedence.

The sun had risen high in the sky, and Milo estimated by its position that it was nearing noon. He stroked Jose’s hair as he whispered in his ear.

“It’s about lunchtime. Are you getting hungry?”

“Hmm… a little, but I don’t want to move. I could stay here with you like this forever and be happy.” Jose’s eyes were closed, a soft smile on his lips.

Milo giggled. “I like the way you think, but I’m pretty sure we’d get very hungry before forever actually came.”

He was about to say more when he saw Diego and Adriana walking up the path from the house. Diego carried a picnic basket, and Adriana had a twelve-pack of Malta tucked under her arm.

“Well,” Milo said lightly, drawing Jose’s attention to them, “it seems the universe has answered both our prayers. You get to stay under this tree—and I get to fill my stomach.”

Diego waved as he and Adriana got closer.

“Doña Natalia said you guys were out here, and she sent you lunch. I hope you’re going to have pity on me and Dri and let us join you, because whatever is in this basket smells heavenly!”

Diego set the basket down and helped Adriana over the pasture fence. He picked up the basket, and they both walked over to where Milo and Jose were sitting under the trees.

Adriana kissed Milo and Jose on the cheek in greeting while Diego started to unpack the basket. It contained warm pernil that had been roasted that very morning, piping-hot arroz con gandules, fresh pan de manteca hot from the oven, and sliced avocados. Diego served up the plates while Adriana handed everyone a Malta.

As they all settled in to eat and enjoy the food, Milo whistled for Piyelito, who lifted his head from where he was lying in the pasture with the cows, got up, and came running. Milo placed a plate of food down for him so he could eat with everyone else.

Jose laid his head back against Milo, who had reclined against the palo santo tree. He sighed contentedly.

“Happy, querido, now that your stomach is full?” Milo said, laughter in his voice.

“Mmmm.” Jose continued to rest against Milo, enjoying the late sun and the peace.

Piyelito returned from escorting Diego and Adriana to the front of the farm, where Adriana’s father picked them up. After the meal, they said their goodbyes and told Milo and Jose they would see them at school.

Piyelito lay down near Jose, and Jose absentmindedly began to pet him, his eyes still closed.

“Milo,” Jose said, still not opening his eyes, his hand continuing to pet Piyelito.

“Yes, querido,” Milo spoke softly.

“You remember when Santiago and I broke up, and you brought me out here to cheer me up.”

“Yes.” Milo resisted the urge to say more. He stayed still, quietly stroking Jose’s arm as he had been doing.

“It wasn’t because Santiago got involved with Mirena that made me upset. I knew Santiago was bisexual. It was only a matter of time before some girl would catch his eye,” Jose said quietly.

He turned his head to look at Milo.

“It was how he made me feel in that moment—like I wasn’t worth him staying. Like it was okay to toss me aside like a discarded toy he had lost interest in.”

In that moment, hearing those words, Milo’s heart broke. He felt a deep sadness that this boy he loved so fiercely could believe he didn’t matter. He wanted to hold him and tell him that he was the moon and the stars, that he had always mattered—but he knew now was not the time.

Jose had to work through this on his own. Milo could support him, but he could not carry him.

“I have always had the feeling that I wasn’t worth caring for—that one day everyone would see that and simply toss me away without a thought.”

Milo remained still, letting his presence and his touch communicate his love. He knew it wasn’t time to speak.

“Do you remember what my mother said to me when she dropped me off?” Jose said, sitting up and looking at Milo. Piyelito, realizing something had changed, lifted his head but remained still.

“She said she would always be there for you. It was something she promised you the day you were born,” Milo said softly, almost a whisper.

Jose nodded as he continued to look into Milo’s eyes. “She has reminded me of that promise all my life, because every day I doubt that I am worth someone showing up for me when I most need them.”

“It must have been hard carrying that belief inside of you all this time.” Milo took Jose’s hand. He waited for Jose to speak.

“It was for so very long, but I’m learning to live past it, to trust that there will be people who will show up for me.” He reached over and pulled Milo to him, wrapping his arms around him and just holding him.