To Be Seen And Heard

A Writer's Reflection on Worth

When I started to write, I was always obsessed with who might read my writing.
Would they appreciate it? Would they follow me? Would they leave a comment?

I realized that approval was important to me.

The more I think about that realization, the more I understand that it goes back to my childhood.

I was born with one ear, on the right side of my head. My outer ear and the ear canal did not develop. Everything else was intact—eardrum, inner ear—all perfect and functional. Because of that slight defect, the doctors at the time told my mother I would never speak properly.

So from about nine months until I was two years old, my mother sat me in her lap and spoke to me. She recited the letters and words and encouraged me to repeat them. Because of her care, I spoke earlier than my cousins and in full sentences.

I was an inquisitive and very hyperactive child who spoke constantly—and sometimes it wore my mother and family out.

Sometimes, even in the most caring and loving families, we neglect to pay attention to our children, to honor their voices, and to let them know that what they have to say is important.

The old saying, “Children should be seen, not heard,” comes to mind.

So all throughout my growing up, I struggled to gain attention—to be seen.

Now let me say, I wasn’t neglected. I grew up in a very loving family. But as the youngest of four, my share of the familial attention was somewhat limited. I guess it has always been a struggle for me to stand up and demand space. To speak my truth and be heard and appreciated.

And so, when I became an adult, I kept chasing approval.

In relationships—feeling that if I just did more, I would be loved.
At work—believing that if I worked harder, I would get a pat on the back.
In my writing—thinking that if I wrote the right story, people would read it and love it.

I still struggle with learning the lesson that I am enough, even when no one else sees it or recognizes it. I am trying every day.

And if you struggle with the same emotional issue, I just want to tell you:

You are enough as well.

🕊️ If this reflection speaks to you…

Feel free to leave a comment or share it with someone who needs the reminder.
And if you’ve had your own journey toward learning your worth, I’d love to hear it.

Until next time,

2260 Hamilton